Nathaniel Hurtseller and Michael Strickland
Should NYU faculty and their dependent children receive full tuition remission?
There's nothing harder than taking 12 — 12! — whole credits, especially with classes that give upward of 20 — 20! — pages of reading each week, so I'm shipping off for a much-needed fall break.
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It initially struck me as a bit unfair that NYU in Prague students get such a lengthy fall break. After all, our comrades in New York City don't get anything despite being flogged by midterms and classes. I couldn't help but feel a sting when WSN columnist Sammy Dweck commented on my Facebook status ("Good Christ I am ready for fall break") with a pointed "At least you have one."
Indeed, at least I do!
Still, it's hard not to feel that you're coming out on top, at least for now. About two months into the Prague experience and already I'm feeling a bit homesick for good ol' Manhattan. So before my trip, I leave you with the top five reasons why you, proverbial NYU student, shouldn't be jealous.
5) Your hobos. Prague has a sprinkling of homeless people atop its cobblestone streets, but they're not the fun, vibrant breed of misanthropes that New York City offers. They're miserable, they grovel, and they often have unsettling disfigurations and a pungent cornucopia of other maladies.
4) Upstein. I'm saving up money to get the Chick-fil-A logo tattooed above my heart. You don't understand how blessed you are to be able to walk into Weinstein's food court pretty much whenever you want, swipe a stupid purple plastic card, and instantly receive wondrous chicken patties and waffle fries.
3) Palladium. If we want to work out in Prague, we have two options: running in the streets and getting attacked by unleashed Czech dogs, or taking the metro to Hit Fitness Flora or Olga Sipkova Fitness Club and paying a fee to enjoy dilapidated treadmills and post-Richard Simmons freakos. For this reason, compounded by how inexpensive and ubiquitous Czech beer is, this column will soon be called "Prague Flesh Blimp."
2) Duane Reade. Prague has a knockoff, DM, and it is truly the palest of imitations. I may be off on a magical European tour for the next week, but when I return, I'm going to be faced with a wannabe pharmacy that doesn't even sell aspirin.
1) Movies. Horror of horrors, we won't get "Where the Wild Things Are" for another month. But most frightening at all? The Czech Republic doesn't seem to have any release date whatsoever for "Precious," which is shaping up to be the best racially-charged drama since "Save the Last Dance." Perhaps they ran into problems translating Mo'Nique's whimsical line in the trailer, "Take yo' ass down to the welfare."
See, guys? You don't have it so bad after all.
Bree
Oct 28, 2009
4:26 p.m.
This is so obnoxious - you are lucky to spend time in another country.
Davis
Nov 01, 2009
1:16 p.m.
More reasons to like New York City: Damon Beres is not there, buffoonishly ornamenting his latest mediocrities with GRE word-of-the-day vocabulary
I LOVE DAVIS
Nov 04, 2009
11:58 p.m.
DAVIS STRIKES AGAIN!
YOU TELL 'EM, BUDDY!
Trevor
Nov 06, 2009
1:13 p.m.
Wow Damon, woe is you for residing in a prosperous central European country and having the chance to experience another culture in situ.
I am probably guessing that you are not going to take alot from studying abroad. Stop comparing yourself to New York City and experience the world like it truly is. You're only disappointing yourself. My friends who went to Ghana had absolutely no expectations, and returned saying it was an experience of a lifetime. Whereas you publish your New York-centric ideals and how Prague doesn't live up to them... hmm, sounds like you're having a blast!
Diana
Dec 02, 2009
2:15 p.m.
Poor you. You're living in Prague, you get to travel Europe, you get the chance to have a remarkable cultural and eye-opening experience and you have the gall to complain about:
1. The Homeless (because that's REALLY their fault)
2. Fried chicken (because there's NO food here, or, you know KFC)
3. The gym (because heaven forbid you take a walk up Petrin hill. THAT's not exercise)
4. A Pharmacy (because the Czech Republic doesn't have aspirin. Anywhere. Ever)
5. Movies (because we'll all die if we'll have to watch "Where the Wild Things Are" on DVD)
How DO you survive it? You're practically living in a 3rd world country with no clean water or electricity. Props to you for the survival.
Xinjiang
Dec 04, 2009
4:03 p.m.
This post is a great example of "white whine"
e.g. "Oh no my hands hurt from counting all of these big bags of money"
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