Quantcast Washington Square News

March 1st, 2007

Lierley, Shmierley

By Eric Bruenner

Just so you know, Moskowitz, I fight neither women nor children–Lierley, being a strange hybrid of both is doubly disqualified from traversing the twisting labyrinth of pain that is a hand-to-hand engagement with yours truly.

For the sake of argument, if “he” and I were to fight I would probably spew stale liquor in his pretty boy face and spit in his slick corporate haircut. Following these humiliations, assuming he hadn’t already submitted, I would throw in a devestating rabbit punch–thus leaving him ripe for the reverse suplex, which I would perform until:

a) death
b) he signed a contract written in the blood of his first-born stating that I was in fact his biological father

p.s. Lierley, if you are actually reading this: I am a small, anemic man who is frightened by aggressive school children and the sound of loud bells–were we to meet on the street I would probably fake a seizure and soil my already filthy undergarments. If this wasn’t a sufficient deterrent I might resort to name-calling and slashing impotently at your masculine jawline with my poorly clipped nails.

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 1st, 2007 at 6:09 pm and is filed under Opinion, The Octagon. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

7 Responses to “Lierley, Shmierley”

  1. Marvelous. A schizophrenic columnist with a part-time hobby in cry-fighting. Flurry of punches followed by a sprinkling on tears. A finely honed assault followed by mordant remorse, crouched in the corner.

    I think WSN should do everything it can to encourage such deft turn-abouts. I love it.

  2. $anchor$basketball Betting,final Four,final Four Betting,final Four Gambling,final Four Sports Book,final Four Sportsbook,march Madness,march Madness Betting,march Madness Gambling,march Madness Sports Book,march Madness Sportsbook,ncaa,ncaa Betting,…

    $anchor$basketball Betting,final Four,final Four Betting,final Four Gambling,final Four Sports Book,final Four Sportsbook,march Madness,march Madness Betting,march Madness Gambling,march Madness Sports Book,march Madness Sportsbook,ncaa,ncaa Betting,nc…

  3. $anchor$basketball Betting,final Four,final Four Betting,final Four Gambling,final Four Sports Book,final Four Sportsbook,march Madness,march Madness Betting,march Madness Gambling,march Madness Sports Book,march Madness Sportsbook,ncaa,ncaa Betting,…

    $anchor$basketball Betting,final Four,final Four Betting,final Four Gambling,final Four Sports Book,final Four Sportsbook,march Madness,march Madness Betting,march Madness Gambling,march Madness Sports Book,march Madness Sportsbook,ncaa,ncaa Betting,nc…

  4. Ncaa Sports Book…

    Ncaa Sports Book…

  5. Fioricet…

    I found this site recently through a friend of mine and gotta say I love this place already. I’m a proud owner of Fioricet. So far, I have saved a lot of money and time from where I purchased the pain medication. Just thought I’d share the info. with…

  6. St Louis Personal Injury Attorney…

    found your site. great stuff….

Leave a Reply

Advertisement

Poll

What are you doing this summer?
Submit Vote

View Results

Advertisement